2015

Happy New Year?

Happy? Are you happy? No worries. We all will get there. It's just the matter of time.

New Year, new resolution? Nahh. Why not just let 2015 be and everything will

fall into place.

Happy New Year. :)

Same person, same shit

If it didn't work out then, it will never work out.

Trust me.

I've gone down this road for so many times. My ex and I tried to work things out many times but we kept getting the same result. It's hard to let go but that's the only option I have. To let go. Both of us need to let go. We just have to. 

No matter how much we like each other but if we are not meant to be, then things won't work out. They just won't anymore. Let go. Let him go. Let "us" go. Let the past go.

Dear Ayah

How long has it been? I don't think we have talked in awhile. I miss you. I miss talking to you. You'll probably think I don't miss you but I really do miss you. I know our relationship has never been good but I believe at one point, you truly loved me. But that would be when I was still a child.

From what I know, you think that I hate you. And I am having the same thought about you. Things haven't been great between us. I'm growing up so fast and you're growing old. Not even a day passed by without having you in my mind. I always think about you but you probably think that I never thought of you at all. Trust me, you run through my mind every single second. You are always the first thing that comes to my mind. And it is really sad to see the gap between us getting wider and wider. 

I know it kills you every single time when I do the things you do not approve or like. And I also know it kills you every second when we hardly say anything to each other though we live under the same roof. And I also know it kills you when you do not know what's going on with my life. Last but not least, I know it kills you when I said I'm already 21 and I deserve to make my own decision. 

Trust me ayah, it kills me too. My heart dies every single time I make you feel sad. It kills me too when I know I turned out to be someone that you hated. I know you wanted a good daughter that covers her aurah, listens well to her parents and most importantly, prays. You also wanted a daughter than can study and do well in the course you have chosen for her. I'm sorry that I'm not doing well and not able to live up to your expectations. I'm trying to, ayah, I really am trying my best. 

You are the reason I am still here and you are the only person that I look up to. You probably didn't know this but I always look up to you. This is because I like you so much. I admire your hard work and passion. Sometimes I wonder how a person can work so much like you. You're such a workaholic. You work 6 or 7 days a week. You sleep at 2 or 3 am and leave home for work at 7. You only get 4 to 5 hours of sleep everyday but you never complain. You feel most disappointed when I treat you bad as if I don't appreciate your hard work. I know I have been such a pain in the ass. I know, I always do. 

I have been meaning to say all of these to you, but I don't think I'd ever have the chance to do so. I hope that one day I will have the balls to sit and talk to you. I'd really like that.

I would also love to have a day out with you so we can get to know each other better. I know you know nothing about me. You don't even know what I like and dislike. I would wanna know what you like and dislike too!

Dear ayah, 

I hope things will get better between us soon. I'm sorry and I miss you ayah. 

Love,

Ain

Home

Home?

What is home?

A place that I can comfortably call "home". 

I like staying alone in Cyberjaya. I get to do whatever or anything at anytime I want. I could also walk around in the house naked without worrying who will see me in the house. 

I'm not a clean person but when I'm alone, I like to clean my room, living room, toilet & also the stairs. I like to do those shits when no one is looking. Pretty weird huh? Hehe

Sometimes I ask myself what I truly want to do in future... Accounting? Or event management? Or a housewife? 

A housewife? Many would think I'm crazy if I'd settle down as a housewife. But what if being a housewife is something I really want to do? I like cleaning my own shits when no one's home. Don't all the housewives do that every single day? They clean the house when their kids and husbands aren't home. But I'm not going to be a typical housewife... I would love to be a housewife that work from home and also tutor my own kids. Yes, tutoring your own kids is really important when you are a parent. In future, everything will be expensive and the working hours will be extending as we need to find more money to support our family. I would not want to see my husband getting all moody and stressed up due to his piled works. I just want to see a happy husband coming back home and I would be waiting for him at home.  

Everything is expensive nowadays except for people. People are getting cheap day by day. People are willing to do anything for money. I think I should refer people as "we" because everyone is doing it. But is it our fault? All we do is just to support our lives, so I don't think there is any wrong with doing it. It is just that we need to bear with the judgements to be made by others. 2013 and we still get judged for whatever shit we do. Anyways, stay strong! 

Education and starting our own family would be quite costly in near future. Yes, near future and I can already feel it. Lol. Haha. 

Is it wise for me to dream of becoming a housewife? A housewife than cleans the house, tutors the kids, educates her kids well, respects & loves her husband, works from home? I want to make my own money as well, so that I will have power on myself in future. I do not want to lose self power after I got married just because my husband is the only one that makes money at home. I want to be a super housewife and I make my family a comfortable home. And for that, each of us will be proud to call the place we sleep every night, "HOME".

Home is where everything started. 

Regards,

Faren Zori

Colours

Hi! 

How are you awesome people doing? I'm doing awesome as usual though finals are tearing me apart(somehow). Lolz. Jkjkjk. 

So I was studying Corporate Accounting and suddenly this hit me in the head. And yes, I was out of my mind. P/s: It's a song!

Please pray for my brain to get well soon aite. Thanks!

Regards,

Faren

A wanderer

Your eyes look like you're not coming home, so where are you going? You can wander around but don't get lost, or even worse, lose yourself.

"Not all who wander are lost." 

-J.R.R. Tolkien-

With love,

Faren.

Fisah's 21st Birthday!

              Caught in action. Lol

Fisah just turned 21 on 8th of September! Welcome to the legal club honey! Zai, Emi and I went to her house and surprise her on her birthday! Credits to Budin for being our fortunate driver and Sabree(Fisah's brother) for helping us to surprise her. This poor girl had knee problem exactly a day before her birthday, and she couldn't go out and celebrate. So that's why we decided to bash & surprise her at her house! Hehe

And yet, her family prepared another surprise for her on the following weekend.

Happy birthday again Nafisah! We love you! Hope you had a great birthday celebration!

14th of September, 2013

With love,

Faren.